


Sugar Coated Ice

by FearPigeon



Series: FearPigeon [1]
Category: Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: M/M, Saturday Night Live References
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-30 01:25:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19031902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FearPigeon/pseuds/FearPigeon
Summary: Biden and Bush are just two bro's hanging out, when all goes wrong when they get whacked out of their minds with one hell of a spell. Based on a SNL skit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gD9EAWmGWyg





	Sugar Coated Ice

 

* * *

 

_The freezing temperatures of the moonlight sent a shiver down both Biden and Bush. Bush was the punching bag that the cold pounded as he sat on a cabinet next to the window with his Hawaiian blue shirt tied around his waist. His eyes closed, his arms embracing the sweet relief of winter._

 

Biden

“What the f. Bush” “Are you trying to make my room… Hoth? Or something?” “I can’t even light this stupid lighter… shut the window for gods sake.”

 

_Bush closes the window_

 

Bush

“C’mon man, stop trying to bust my balls, we both know that my stomach can’t handle ethnic food” “It makes me feel all uneasy and hot inside like I’ve ate ethnic food.” “Next time can we just go to taco bell, I’m basically their family over there. They love me like how I love Taco bell.”

 

Biden

“Fine I guess but you better not try to hook me with the cashier like last time”

 

Bush

“I’m sorry if the 42nd president thought that you guys would be all cool together and have like cool children.”

 

Biden

“I ain’t even gonna comment on the many incorrect things you just said.”

 

Bush

“Whatever compadre… Are you almost done because my stomach is still not shooting straight, he’s acting like Cheney.”

 

Biden

“Patience is a virtue my friend, it’s almost done, but before you smoke you should know, what I am preparing for our main course is special, it’s known as Simpsons grass.”

 

Bush

“Is it yellow?”

 

Biden

“Why would it be yellow?”

 

Bush

“Because of the Simpsons”

 

Biden

“Uh okay. I forget, Long story short the supplier didn’t know he was colour-blind until our dealer was handed this”

 

Bush

“Ah cool, so is it good good?”

 

Biden

“Better be, Charlie was acting like it was the next mw2”

 

Bush

“Shit must be good then!” “Nobody ever compares anything to that”

 

Biden

“I know I know.”

 

Bush

“How much did you get?”

 

Biden

“A spoon”

 

Bush

“Big spoon, little spoon”

 

Biden

“in-between”

 

Bush

“How much was that stuff”

 

Biden

“Basically, all of the money we have”

 

Bush

“Why did you buy that then we could have bought a barrel of glue and had as much fun and I know the good kind”

 

Biden

“Did you not get the memo when I said Charlie was hyping the shit out of it, I mean ‘f’ man he could pump me up and I was only texting him at the time.”

 

Bush

“It better be good, or your gonna be kissing my big ass for the next fortnight”

 

Biden

“Trust me on this one, if Charlie compared it to MW2 we both know it must literally the bee’s heckin’ knees.”

 

_As the two stared at Biden’s creation, Biden could only see wonder and amazement at his creation, it was the second coming of Christ to him whilst Bush was less than impressed with its size, to him it was everything wrong with America and why Texas was so much better in every single way._

 

Biden

“Alright the goose is cooked”

 

Bush

“I get that it was small but jeez… did you really have to get it couldn’t you have mixed it with something to make two or something bigger.”

 

Biden

“This is only thing we have left… And even if we did have stuff it could taint it”

Bush

“We don’t have to use other types; you know what about that saw wood stuff… Yeah. I saw them use it in the history channel and I was watching some history stuff and they said people put in their food for eating like they would mix it...”

 

Biden _Interrupts_

“Look. I ain’t eating no wood, that shit is disgusting also it’s 2013 not the f’ing stone age grandpa”

 

Bush

“Alright chill. So, are you gonna light it or wait for the commies to do it for you?”

Biden lights his magnum opus, staring at the curves of it’s beautifulness, the smell, the essence of it was immense for Biden, it was his child, it was his everything.

 

Bush

“Stop hogging it DaVinci… it’s only a small thing no bigger than Delaware.”

 

Biden

“Wait…”

_Biden takes a single puff, swallowing all of heavens clouds. He was above any mortal, it lifted him to beyond this harsh mortal plane. He was a god and nothing less._

 

Bush

“C’mon dude… your stealing the best parts.” “This is our play, it ain’t a solo act amigo.”

 

_Biden was the earth, he felt himself handing the green gold to Bush, he was spectating this event out with his own body._

_Bush took a hit and he was with Biden. He was Texas. His hands were velvet. His feet consumed in a sauna of rich oil. He was whole in both body and spirit.”_

 

* * *

Part 2 coming soon, maybe, probably not since I have no will power at all.


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